This year, I have been giving it my utmost best to commit to my yearlong challenge to 'Passionately Fail Towards Success'. This includes not hiding from the world, taking bigger leaps forward, testing myself, moving outside my comfort zone, being braver and so much more. As a part of my yearlong challenge, I also said that I would write weekly blogs to document whether I was doing my best and reflect on what I've been learning throughout the week. I am close to the end of week 38 and this will be my 37th Blog. So today, I am writing 2 blogs to play catch up. There has been a lot of things learned this year, from learning to do more of the things I don't want to do, having those uncomfortable conversations, pushing myself to do things I would rather avoid and testing my abilities as a boss, leader, artist & business owner.
I am also on the 49th day of my 100 Day challenge and nearing the halfway mark. I have missed a few daily live videos that I committed to doing as a part of this challenge. Although I did most of them, I eventually deleted those videos because I wasn't comfortable sharing some of those vulnerable stories. I am consistently in the process of self-discovery and trying to figure out how to openly share my journey with the world. I aim to consistently improve, learn, grow, reflect, evaluate and still be engaging and hopefully inspiring to people.
That has been one of my questions over the last few weeks. How do I engage and reach more people? How do I do what I love & attract more opportunities? How is it possible to do what I love with a bigger pay off? I made a commitment to do weekly blogs and daily lives to hold myself accountable and I did that because I definitely learn a lot doing them. However, there have been moments when I wonder what the point is. Not many people watch my lives or read my blogs. There are moments I feel like I try so hard, but I barely move forward. At times, it seems like my struggles in life are bigger than my successes. Or, my prayers go unanswered. I can confidently say that I am definitely giving it my all and I am always trying my hardest to work on myself, my business, being a mum and being my best self. Sometimes the outcomes are small, and I question what I am doing.
My present quandary is trying to figure out whether my struggles are a part of my journey or whether I am doing the wrong things. I can say with certainty that I am moving forward in faith and that there will eventually be a payoff for all the years and decades of work I have been putting in. Because right now, I need that. So, this is what I am working on at the moment - trying to figure out what I should be doing and what will allow me the best outcomes. The one thing I am definitely confident about is that I will not give up and I will continue to work on my goals, continue to check in and monitor my progress, continue on my challenges by doing my weekly blogs and daily lives. I will keep learning, growing, sharing, taking on new opportunities and consistently challenging myself and moving outside my comfort zone.
I admit that sometimes, I wish things are easier for me. What my struggles have taught me, however, is to have resilience that will fuel my fight to keep going when things get hard.
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