Welcome to Week 14 of my Blogs based around my theme for the year of ‘Passionately Failing Towards Success’. Each weekly blog has been a great opportunity to reflect on my life and see if I am doing what I need to do to achieve more. It is also to reflect on whether I am consistently taking steps towards my goals. Have I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone? It's a great way to check in with myself to make sure I am still on track. On this week's blog, I would like to share some of the lessons I live by or am learning to live by.
1. I have always been an open book and transparent with my life. In the past, that was to my detriment as people would use that as ammunition against me. Now, it does not worry me anymore because I know who I am. If people say things about me I know that my daily actions will be able to show the world who I really am regardless of their opinions. I post a lot of my life journey online, the wins, my fears, my successes, my goals and the struggles I encounter. It’s who I am and I can only be me. Those that resonate with me will appreciate the honesty and others won’t. It is too exhausting to try to accommodate everyone's thoughts and views on what I should be doing. So, I decided that I will no longer do that.
2. Sometimes, we really just want to share our thoughts and talk about it; not because we need saving or for people to feel sorry for us.
3. I feel we should do our best to try and understand someone's point of view before we give possibly premature and unsolicited opinions. This is because those opinions are purely based on limited information and our preconceived notion of what we think they are saying or needed - not what is actually intended.
4. I believe we can disagree and still be civil. Not everyone likes apples, red cars, believes in higher education or religion. Not everyone is interested in the same movies or sports. There is rarely ever a time that everyone will support or agree about the same things. We need to be more empathetic and understand that we don’t always know people’s stories. So how can we judge so easily?
5. Sometimes life can be a struggle. So, when things are great, I want to celebrate those moments in my life and at times openly share those wins with others. With tall poppy syndrome, people are sometimes more supportive of the negativity and people venting than allowing people to celebrate successes. I will not be a part of that because I am the type of person who will wholeheartedly celebrate your wins with you.
6. One of my biggest obsessions in life is to know myself more than anyone else. From why I respond in a particular way, what my skills are, my interests, weaknesses, likes and strengths. That way, I can navigate my life the best way possible and equip myself with the necessary skills to help me succeed. My whole life, I have had people tell me what I was capable of and at times, I believed them. I'm now at the stage in life that I will give everything a go when I feel interested in doing so. Even if I am not good at it at first because I have ito start somewhere and it makes me happy.
7. I remember a while ago looking at people succeeding and feeling a twinge of envy. I wanted more and I used to feel frustrated at myself. I allowed social media to make me feel as if I had to compete. It also made me feel as if I wasn't growing when I see others doing what they love whilst I wasn't. Over the last 5 years, I came to realise that I felt that way because I wasn't doing the things I love. But I'm happy to say that now, I am, in all areas of my life. When you are doing what you love & being consistent with it, the need to validate yourself to others becomes unnecessary. Now, I really only have to prove tings to myself and that by itself is very freeing. I'm extremely competitive against myself and everyday, I'm obsessed with seeing how I can be better than I was.
8. You have to be clear where you are headed and you need to keep checking in and monitor your progress and make any necessary changes to stay the course all along the way.
9. Consistency is key. We would love things to happen overnight but it is the daily decisions and steps we take that make the biggest changes. It also creates habits and it is habits, not motivation, that help us keep working on it when we can't be bothered. We sometimes have to do the things we don’t want to do to achieve the things we want.
10. What we want in life will never be easy but so they are worth it. It can be really hard & you'll definitely want to give up at some point. If you want an easy overnight success, then look forward to disappointment because it doesn't work like that. It is a lot of work. But the work you put in helps you improve your skills and gives you experiences that equips you better & allows you to make bigger goals.
11. Never compare yourself to others. It won't help. No one has the same experiences, starting point, obstacles, challenges, resources, etc. So, do your journey the way that is best for you.
My life is my journey and my own path to walk. Other people may have opinions on what I should be doing and how. Sometimes, their opinions can help reset me on the right path and help me to see my path a little better. Sometimes, people can help me process my thoughts and gain clarity to know where to head over next. Sometimes, it can have the complete opposite affect. Even the most well intended opinion and advice can be wrong. The biggest lesson I have learnt and continuing to learn more everyday is to know myself more than anyone else. To work on myself everyday and implement and use tools and strategies to help me navigate through life. We can easily be swayed by the everchanging world around us but if we work on ourselves consistently, we will have more power to see ourselves as who we truly are. We should define ourselves, not the collective and oftentimes convoluted opinions of the world.
Photography Credit: Puutanga Waitoa
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