We live in a world that often seems sugarcoated - where social media is filled with picture-perfect moments, and people present a version of life that feels more like a scene from Mary Poppins than the reality of human experience. But I refuse to live that way, and I certainly don’t want to make anyone else feel like they need to either.
You see, I share my life openly and honestly—warts and all. Not because I think my struggles are unique, but because I believe there’s power in being real. Life comes with moments of joy, laughter, and success, but it also comes with pure anxiety, stress, overwhelm, fear, and worry. And that’s the truth most of us experience, whether or not it’s plastered all over FB.
Sometimes, I’ll share the good things in my life, those moments that make me feel on top of the world. Other times, I’ll share when I’m feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just plain “over it.” Some days, you’ll see me with filters, looking polished and pretty. And other times, I’ll look crusty and manky, like I just rolled out of bed and haven’t even tried. And guess what? I don’t care.
You might think I share because I need attention or approval, but the truth is, I couldn’t care less about what people think of me or how they perceive my life online. Honestly, my life off social media is what really matters, and it’s better than what you’ll ever see through the lens of an Instagram post or a Facebook update.
I’ve been juggling so much lately—trying to keep my charitable trust running SMOOTHLY, trying to deliver programs in schools, all while touring my national tour of Tangihanga. I’m wearing so many hats that I sometimes feel like I’m spinning on the floor, trying to keep it all together. There are times I get up to perform, and I know I don’t have a polished piece. It’s embarrassing because I know I’m capable of so much more. But at the same time, I remind myself that I’m a work in progress. Every time I perform, I have the chance to perfect and fine-tune what I’m doing. And that’s okay.
Even in real life, when I’m having a deep conversation with someone and I share my views or experiences, I’ve noticed that people sometimes worry about me. They’ll ask, "Are you okay?" or "Is something wrong?" just because I’m open about the real things I’m going through. But the truth is, just because I’m honest about life’s ups and downs doesn’t mean something is wrong with me. It just means I’m not afraid to be real.
When I talk about these more difficult emotions, I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m not pretending that I’m constantly battling through a storm either. What I’m challenging is the idea that we should hide our more complex feelings, that somehow admitting we feel anxious, scared or overwhelmed makes us less than. This is where we need to pause and question: Why should we feel like something is wrong with us for simply being human?
The truth is, life is messy. There are days when we soar, and there are days when we struggle just to get out of bed. This is the full spectrum of being alive. And it’s okay. More than okay—it’s necessary to embrace. When we acknowledge the harder moments, we give others permission to feel the same way. We show them they aren’t alone in their fears, their uncertainties, or their bad days.
I won’t pretend that my life is all sunshine, nor will I apologize for the days when anxiety gets the better of me. Those experiences don’t define me; they’re part of me, just as they’re part of you, part of everyone. And that’s the thing: sharing these moments doesn’t mean I’m questioning the whole makeup of who I am. I’m just letting you know that I, like you, am living in the real world.
For me, the value in sharing isn’t about focusing on negativity—it’s about creating balance. Yes, I’ll celebrate my successes. I’ll share the moments when everything aligns, when life feels like it’s flowing perfectly. But I’ll also be honest about the days when it feels like everything is falling apart. That’s what being real looks like.
And if my openness makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay. If you don't understand my random post or my humour it's okay too. I know I’m not be for everyone and I don't want to be. But I’m not going to stop being who I am just because it challenges the status quo or makes people question whether or not I’m "okay." I’m more than okay. I’m living my truth, and if that makes even one person feel less isolated or less pressured to hide their real experiences, then it’s worth it.
We live in a time where mental health issues are on the rise, and I truly believe that if more of us were open about the difficult stuff we’re going through, more people would feel less alone. I also feel if people worried about their own backyards and working on themselves as opposed to sitting there easily judging others life would be just a little better. The pressure to hide our struggles or put on a perfect face all the time is damaging, and I refuse to buy into it.
If my honesty helps one person feel less isolated, if it sparks a conversation where we can drop the facade and talk about what really matters, then it’s worth it. The more we open up about what it means to live a full human experience—the good, the bad, and everything in between—the less pressure we feel to pretend that life is always sweet. Because sometimes, it’s not. And that’s okay.
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