It has been an interesting journey recently feeling like the path I am on does not feel right anymore. I have always known what I wanted and where I was headed. I always knew what I wanted in my life and the biggest part is that I had no doubt in my mind I could achieve anything I put my mind to. Recently that changed and I began to question if it was even possible to achieve my goals! For a few weeks I wondered if what I wanted was even possible? Finally, after 6 weeks of feeling a little lost I started getting clarity around this slightly debilitating experience. Here are a few lessons I learnt.
Lesson 1: Go back to the basics.
It's funny how the most basic needs in life are sometimes given less attention when it's obvious that they should be a priority. Especially since these things are the building blocks of our daily existence. This realisation prompted me to ask myself - am I drinking, sleeping, eating and taking time out for myself enough? If not, I can restart and reset as many times as I need to. It is not a crime to re-arrange our priorities as we see fit or according to how we live our lives. The most important thing is for us to have awareness. And I am aware that I sometimes let my wellbeing take a backseat. That needs to change and I'm working on making sure I am doing whatever it takes to improve my health by going back to the basics.
Lesson 2: Sit in the uncomfortable
I usually like to control everything in my power, and I am slowly learning that I cannot always be in charge. This is a huge struggle for me as I have always done things my way. Not for selfish reasons but life has been laid out for me this way for as long as I can remember. I have to stand on my own, I have to follow my dreams alone, I am raising a beautiful daughter all by myself and I started my business as a sole proprietor. However, I am just one person who now knows that I cannot do everything. I have limitations. I get tired. And honestly, I no longer want to exist in perpetual exhaustion. Doing things alone all the time is no longer sustainable, and I am slowly learning to delegate, especially within my business because luckily, I am surrounded by a great team of individuals who are able to fill in the gaps.
Lesson 3: No Man is an island
You see, I am an independent woman by default but, I don’t always want to be. I now know that I want to build a community of support around me. I have learnt to be so relentlessly independent that I struggle to ask for help, seek support and I no longer want to be that woman. Fast forward to this day I am finally accepting the fact that it is not a crime to ask for a helping hand. It doesn't make me less of a person to get the much-needed support from the people around me. In fact, I will now make it a point to stop feeling embarrassed when I find myself needing assistance because I cannot exist alone. And sometimes, I need all the help I can get.
Lesson 4: To do less of everything and more of the things I love
I find myself more and more resistant towards things that no longer serve my purpose. And this is probably due to my constant yearning to do more of the things I love, instead of going through the motion of doing those that I am not really happy with. After all, why would I spend my entire life using my energy to do things I am not happy with? We obviously have to do some things that we need to because life requires us to - we have to work, we have to co-exist with people, we have to follow the law, etc. These are given. But outside of these, I simply want to shave off the things that do not offer me fulfillment so that I can channel most of my efforts into nurturing the things that make my soul come alive.
Lesson 5: It's okay if things fall apart because it gives us an opportunity to rebuild.
Whether we like it or not, we will experience failure. Not once, not twice, but many times over. I've had more than my fair share and yet, I'm still here. And if you ask me, it's not really an option to give up even though I came very close to it several times. If I'll be honest, I hate feeling like I didn't accomplish what I wanted because I've always been a goal-oriented kind of person. In fact, I love challenges because I'm the type of person who likes to accomplish what I put my mind to. Unfortunately, I came to realise that things will not always go our way and when this happens, I have to learn not to beat myself up. Instead, I will take it as a sign that the universe wants me to re-group, rebuild, reassess. And that is exactly what I plan to do instead of wondering why things are not going according to plan. After all, I think there is merit in the saying that you should make lemonade when life gives you lemons.
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