Here I am for week 13 out of 15 so I am still 2 blogs behind. I will catch up and post over the next few days. As always, I want to try stay consistent. This past week I have talked a bit about dating so this week I am going to cover an array of thoughts I have about being single and the importance of knowing what you want in a relationship.
1. I find it inappropriate and a little insulting what people do to us single folk at times. It is annoying when people impose other people on us as if we have to limit what we want in someone and settle for whoever they choose for us! No thanks I am happy to stay single for the rest of my life then date someone I have no interest in just because you say I should. Always made worse by the fact they wouldn't date the person who they are trying to set you up with.
2. I am open to dating but there are requirements before that even happens. At times I am approached via my PM, comments or in person as if just because you comment, PM or approach me I am obligated to reply, chat or engage with you. I don't live on my page & I am very busy so cannot always reply and chat to everyone. I appreciate people reaching out but sometimes it feels as if I am expected to engage with everyone and date all who approach even when I don't want to or have the time.
3. I love who I am & work daily on being my best emotionally, physically, mentally & financially. I don't smoke, drink or do drugs, I'm Christian aka LDS. I work on my health & on feeling & looking my best. I'm financially stable & am extremely ambitious. I work hard on my career as an Artist & as a business owner of Maia Dreams. I love being & mum & hanging out with my friends & family. I need someone who matches that! I guess because I work on myself so much and love who I am and my life that I don't want people reaching out expecting just because I am single it means I'm available for you, anyone or everyone. I work on myself in all areas, so I expect the next person I allow into my life to match that. That's non-negotiable. I've had people trying to set me up with questionable people, a guy who asked me to help "heal him" .... that's not my responsibility. Men who still don't have their lives together thinking that they'd be a good option for me. Let's just say the list is scary and a little exhausting at times.
4. What I am looking for and am extremely attracted to is a man who knows himself, is drama free, honest, loyal, takes care of himself, is kind, ambitious, honest, financially stable, God fearing, doesn't smoke & drink, hardworking, humble, fun & loves his family to name a few things. There also has to be physical attraction & be able to effectively communicate & have similar values and commonalities. If you don't, then please don't apply hahaha.
5. Dating is one of the biggest investments into someone's life. People should know who they are, know what they are looking for. Then they should spend time with that person seeing if they can communicate effectively, have mutual interests and commonalities, like spending time with each other, like each other's families. That is important because I once had an ex whose family was really horrible and judgmental towards me. As the years went on so did their behaviors towards me. Let's just say it was lovely to not have any of them in my life anymore. Who I spent the rest of my life with needs to be someone I want to be with and am willing to work on for the rest of my life. I also need someone who is willing to do that for me.
6. I get lonely sometimes and that's totally OK, it's normal and that doesn't mean I am desperate. Wanting to start dating doesn't mean I am desperate either and its strange people coin that as the same thing. I have been single for many years, and it has given me so much time to heal from past relationships and work on being my best self. Now I am in the best place to be in a relationship because I know what I want and who I am. I value my time and theirs and am willing to put in the work to make the relationship work.
7. Dating and being single should be given more time and value than happens these days. People jumping into relationships with the wrong person just to not be alone or jumping from partner to partner happens to readily. I really believe people should stay single for a period of time before jumping into the next. This is to give you enough time to reset, look at the part you played in the ending of that relationship and what you want and need moving forward. However, I believe it is good so you can heal and recover. Being on both ends I see the benefit from having time by myself. Before I took baggage from the last relationship into the next one and it effected that relationship. Entering a relationship with someone who just came out of one with no break resulted in him treating me and reacted to me irrationally as if I was her.
What I have noticed is that people try less these days to connect with each other especially with the access to online content and sites. Dating should be fun, and people should be willing to work on themselves before entering a relationship. It is not someone else's responsibility to make you your best that is your job. I am going to continue to work on myself, be open to dating whilst thriving and enjoy life. It is better to stay single and happy then be in unhappy relationship.
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